Making It Work
by HydeLuver
Summary: Will their past dictate their future? Beck/Tori
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: _PLEASE READ THIS! _This story will be pretty sure, maybe 2 or 3 chapters total. This first chapter might seem a bit confusing but it starts with Tori thinking back on her life after high school and this will give you an idea of what happens that leads up to her decisions in the present. This is a BORI story although Beck's name is not mentioned in this first chapter. **

**Disclaimer****: I do ****_not _own Victorious or any of the show's characters.**

Tori stands by the door frame of her bedroom, staring at the mountain of clothes laying on top of her bed and then at the small suitcase opened on the floor. She knows there is no way she can fit the last five years of her life into the small container. That unnerves her as she realizes that she will either have to make a second trip or leave behind most of her possessions. She knows, however, that the former is out of the question. She will just have to rummage through her things and take the most important ones with her. She crosses the room and starts throwing things into her suitcase. She knows she doesn't have much time before he arrives so she doesn't bother folding her clothes or wrapping the fragile items.

Within a few minutes, the contents in her bag are threatening to spill over. She scans the room one last time, looking for anything she might have forgotten and just as she is about to close the bag, she spots the silver picture frame in the corner, next to his side of the bed. Tori slowly walks over to it and grabs it. It's been months since she's last looked at the picture, but she remembers the image clearly. She is standing in the middle with her parents to her right and Trina on her left, holding her hand and smiling. It was taken on the day of Tori's high school graduation. To this day, it is one of her favorite pictures. Not only because it's a picture of her family, but because in the background, just behind Trina, she can see him. He's wearing his cap and gown and his long hair is tied back. Only half his face is visible but she can tell that he had been looking at her when the picture was snapped. The small smile on his lips and the brightness of his eyes complete the picture for her. The four people she loves the most captured in an 8 by 10 frame.

Tori sits at the edge of the bed trying to remember that day. It was seven years ago and they had only been dating a few months. Even then, they knew how special their relationship was. There were no games being played, no lies being told. They were just two people that had been hurt in the past and just wanted something organic, something simple. It had started as a rebound fling. He had been newly single and she had been single far too long and wanted a little romance before going off to college. Their little dates and heavy make out sessions sustained them for a while and seemed insignificant, until one day they started to mean more.

Surprisingly, it was him that took the initiative to make their relationship official. He persisted against her initial hesitation and started doing "boyfriend-like" things such as paying for their dates and walking her to class. He would invite her into his house to meet his parents and share things he probably never told anyone (except maybe his ex-girlfriend). It took her a while to accept his affection, and was soon grateful for his tenacity in making her his.

It surprised her how fast she fell for him after they became exclusive. He provided the support and love she needed and in return, she offered him the stability and comfort he didn't have in his previous relationship.

After graduation, they spent the summer hopelessly in love, reveling in each other. She had given herself to him mentally, spiritually...physically. All the fears that held her back from fully letting go with her previous boyfriends were non-existent with him. Fear itself, actually, became a non-factor in her life. Even when his ex-girlfriend threatened to make her life a living hell, she didn't care. She was too far gone in her feelings for him to worry about anything.

She was finally happy. Their friends immediately approved of their relationship, quickly adding that it was "about time." Clearly they were in on something she had been oblivious to. Even her family, who were usually adamant about her romantic choices, were more than thrilled to have him around. They would invite him over for dinner or to play cards. He quickly established a bond with her parents and her loud mouthed sister and Tori couldn't be happier. Not only did she get to spend time with him, but also got to spend time with her family.

As they enjoyed their time together, they paid little attention to the dwindling summer days. When the third week of August came around, both were taken by surprise. Their time together was over. He would be heading to the other side of the country, to New York, and she would be staying in California.

"We'll make this work" he promised as he wiped tears from her cheeks. "We love each other, so we can do this."

He sounded so hopeful and optimistic that she didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise. Long distance relationships didn't have a high success rate, especially for people their age. Still, she held back the tears and gave him her best smile.

"That's my girl" he said before holding her close to him. She allowed herself to take in his scent and the sound of his voice, knowing it would be a long time before they could be like this again. What she wouldn't give to have this moment last forever.

Two days later, she found herself standing outside his RV as he put his bags in the back of his truck.

"No crying" was her motto that day, and she didn't cry, not in front of him anyway.

"I'll call you when I get there okay? I love you Tor" he said.

She nodded her head. "I love you too."

He kissed her and smiled before getting in his truck and driving off. She waited around until she could no longer see his car before going home and crying for days on end. His daily calls were the highlight of her days. Hearing his voice made her feel better, even though it didn't substitute for the real thing.

A week later, it was her turn to get on the road to start a new chapter. Luckily she wasn't going too far from home and had Andre with her to help ease the anxiety and loneliness. She struggled to find a balance at first. Classes and homework took up most of her time. She didn't socialize much at first because she would wait around for his call. As the semester went on, things became easier. She settled in and met new people. Her workload became less overwhelming and she even found time to go to a few parties. Talking to him, though, was still the best part of her day. They would iChat at least once a day and it was like nothing changed. Except that his hair was longer and she now had a piercing. His clothes got bulkier with the changing seasons and her skin was tanner.

By October, their hour-long conversations had to be reduced to a couple of minutes as midterm exams and projects started. Eventually, they decided to talk every other day, then every two days until finally they agreed it wouldn't work out. For some reason, she wasn't as heartbroken as she thought she would be. It hurt, she couldn't deny that, but when Andre invited her to a party the following night, she said yes. At the party she danced, she drank...she didn't think about him at all.

A few weeks later, she was home for Thanksgiving. In her room, the pictures of them made her nostalgic and she decided to call him to see how he was doing. It was the first time since their breakup they communicated, and she was relieved when it wasn't awkward. They filled each other in on their semester thus far. He informed her he was in New York for the holidays and she filled him in about things at home. They laughed and shared inside jokes, just like old times. Before hanging up, he almost said "I love you." She almost wished he had but laughed instead and placed the phone on the receiver.

Home reminded her of him. It didn't help that her family and friends kept asking about him. For the first time in her life, she couldn't wait to go back to school. When she did, though, something was missing. She didn't enjoy it like she did before. Deep down, she knew she missed him, but couldn't bring herself to admit it. This went on for weeks until she decided right before the Christmas break to call him. She was happy to learn that he would be home for the holidays. She was even more relieved to hear he was still single. She became excited again and anticipation consumed her. So what if she barely passed her finals and her GPA was barely respectable? All she cared about was seeing him.

Reconnecting came naturally to them. They spent the days leading up to Christmas together. They reminisced about their days in Hollywood Arts and their friends. He cooked her dinner and she made him hot cocoa. They cuddled on his couch until she fell asleep and he would have to drive her home. He spent Christmas with her family and before heading back home, he gave her a note and kissed her cheek. She opened the note once he left and smiled at the simple message: "We'll make this work."

Early the next morning she bangs on his door. He opened the door, eyes groggy, hair a mess; perfect. She throws herself at him and kisses him with more force and ardor than ever. He gladly returns the gesture and, closing the door behind them, leads her to the unmade bed. As they make love for the first time in months, it is clear that they are back on.

They spend the next three weeks getting reacquainted and catching up on lost time; Stolen kisses, mid-afternoon love making, outings with friends. Everything was back to normal, only this time she is more conscious about time.

"I'm here now" he tells her once he catches her looking at her watch. She loves that he can tell, can reassure her, so easily. She rests her head on his shoulders and stops worrying.

Deja vu strikes again a few days later as he stands in front of her, ready to take off. This time there are no tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She prepared herself for this moment. He smirks as she readjusts her posture several times and purses her lips. After a few seconds, she notices a change in his mood. He's serious now, more solemn.

"What happens now?" he asks.

Tori shrugs her shoulders. "We go our separate ways again" she replies nonchalantly.

"Okay," he starts, "I'll be here if you want me."

"What does that mean?" she asks as she tilts her head to the side.

"Maybe we can try this again, if you want that is" he replies, nervously looking away from her.

"I...would love that" she says and laughs when he picks her up and twirls her around.

Watching him leave doesn't hurt as much this time around. It's probably because she is certain that this time would be different. They both love each other and can't see themselves with anyone else. He is the only person she sees herself with and she would go to hell and back to make sure they last.

The next few months are easier. She convinced her parents to let her go to New York a few times to see him. Their only all nighters were spent on the phone with each other. She would tell him about her classes and friends and he would fill her in on the auditions he was going on. Everything was great until he actually landed a role that forced him to stay in New York. He made promised her that things wouldn't change, that he would still be around whenever she needed him. He promised that their relationship was his priority and nothing would get in the way of it. However, as his schedule became more hectic and her first year was dwindling down, all those promises went unkept. She would go days without hearing from him and when she did, all he had were apologies.

"Shooting went until later than expected" he would say or "I didn't get your message."

This went on for three months, two weeks and six days.

As her last finals of the year were approaching, he informed her he wouldn't be going back home over the summer. In fact, he was dropping out of school and possibly moving to New York.

"Possibly?" she had asked, knowing deep down that he had already made his decision. She was filled with dread at the sudden realization that there was no way they would make it as long as she was here and he was there. The past three months were taking a toll on her and she needed to refocus all her energy on bringing her grades up.

"My job is here so it would make sense to be here. You could transfer and be here with me, it'll be great."

Of course the idea had crossed her mind as soon as he mentioned moving, but where would she go? What decent school would accept her with her flawed transcript. "I'm sorry admissions director, but I was too busy focusing in my relationship to care about school but I promise to do better at your school, even if the only reason I'm here is because of my boyfriend." Yeah, that would go over well.

"Tori, I don't know what you want me to do. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, I can't just not take it. I'm sorry" he said. More apologies.

"I wouldn't ask you to give it up, but it's not fair of you to expect me to either wait around for you or pick up and leave everything I have here to be with you."

"Am I not worth it?" he asked bitterly catching her completely off guard. That was by far the most selfish statement he had ever made and it helped her decision easier.

"You are, but I can't. I'm sorry." It was her time to apologize, her turn to be selfish.

A deafening silence hung around them after that for what seemed like an eternity and it wasn't until he bid his farewell that she relaxed. Just like that, the relationship she had worked so hard to maintain was over, and it was because of her. She could have easily jumped at the chance to be with him in New York, give up school and try going on a few auditions of her own out there. She would probably make it sooner or later. The problem was that she couldn't do that for him, she had to do that for herself. If she left school to be with him, she might resent him eventually and then what? The relationship would fail and she would be left with nothing. As she placed the phone on the receiver, she felt her heartbeat slowing down and she exhaled deeply.

"_You made the right choice" _she told herself repeatedly, hoping to convince herself.

It actually turned out being her mantra for the next three years, which was how long it took for her to see or talk to him again.

**Next chapter will be up by next Tuesday.**


	2. Chapter 2

The day was finally here. After countless sleepless nights and lord knows how many cups of coffee, Tori was graduating. For a while, she didn't think she would be allowed to walk with her fellow graduates, much less receive her degree. She tried her hardest to make up for her first year grades, so when her counselor told her she would indeed be graduating, she was ecstatic.

Her parents and Trina had driven up the night before and were some of the first ones at the ceremony. As her mother fuzzed with her tassel and her dad snapped pictures of everything he deemed important, Tori scanned the venue for Andre.

Her best friend told her he would meet her before they had to march in so they could take pictures together. After a few minutes, she was able to spot him. Tori couldn't help but laugh at Andre's exasperated expression as his grandmother trailed behind him, dodging anyone who came within inches of her. His girlfriend Rachel walked in front of him, chatting away on her pear phone. She waved excitedly at Tori once she saw her and all three made their way towards the Vegas.

The three graduates posed for pictures together and with their families. As she stood aside, watching Andre and Rachel taking pictures together, it dawned on her how bittersweet the day truly was. While she was happy and proud of their achievements, she couldn't help but fear the unknown future. They were adults now, responsible for their decisions and standing on their own two feet. She was afraid of growing up, but embraced the changes at the same time.

"Time to go in Tor" Andre told her before grabbing Rachel's hand and walking towards the graduate's place.

"May I take a picture with you?"

Tori quickly spun around. There he was, standing next to her family. His crisp white shirt tucked into his gray slacks. His hair neatly pulled back into a low ponytail and his smile as wide as ever. Tori stood there, moth agape, surprise evident in her face.

"Congratulations Tor" he said, not bothering waiting for her to speak. He walked to stand next to her. His arms draped over her shoulders and Tori managed to close her mouth long enough for her father to snap the picture.

When the flash went off, she looked up at him. "What...How?" she stuttered.

"Lets talk after. Go graduate" he said smirking. She nodded her head and walked away, looking back a few times just to make sure he was really there and she just wasn't imagining it.

It turns out he was Andre's guest. Seeing as how he was the only one of their group to not graduate, Andre figured he should at least attend a graduation and see what it was like.

"Thanks for the heads up" Tori pouted when she met up with her best friend.

"And ruin the surprise?" he replied sarcastically before turning his back to her. Tori could see a small smirk on his face and shook her head.

The next two hours flew by and soon everyone gathered outside to make plans for dinner. As her parents tried to reason with Andre's grandmother and choose a restaurant that would be suitable for her and her strange quirks, Tori watched him walk towards her. He held a small bouquet of flowers and a congratulatory balloon.

"Congratulations" he said while handing them to her. She took them appreciatively. After three years of not speaking to each other, he stood there, happy to see her as if she wasn't the reason they broke up in the first place. It was as if all their arguments and break ups never happened.

She awkwardly thanked him and he started making small talk to alleviate the tension. He quickly filled her in on his flight, a restaurant in New York he loved and a few other things she didn't hear because she was so transfixed on his presence.

"Are you surprised to see me here?" he finally asked. Tori looked back at her family members, half hoping the were more decisive so she wouldn't have to be in this awkward encounter.

"That's an understatement" she responded.

"I really want us to talk Tor. Not today, because it's your day, but soon" he said, looking into her eyes.

"Sure" she said nervously, "I'm free tomorrow."

He smiled and nodded his head. She was sure he hadn't expected for it to be so easy. Frankly, she wasn't sure why she had so easily agreed to meet with him, but seeing him there, on the most important day of her life...she couldn't say no.

"Great, Andre has my number. So call me whenever you're free tomorrow, I'm not doing anything."

"You're not coming to dinner?" she asked, half disappointed but relieved at the same time.

He smiled and shook his head. "Like I said, it's your day, I don't want to make you feel more uncomfortable than you already do."

"I don't, I mean..." she trailed off and smiled when she realized he was joking.

"I'm really proud of you Tor. I'll be waiting for your call" he said and then he walked towards the group to say good bye. She watched him leave and already debated whether meeting him the next day would be a good idea. All that night, she laid awake thinking about him. Three years ago, seeing him would have made her so happy, and now she was so conflicted.

The following day, after many dials and hang ups, she got up the courage to let him answer. Despite the short and awkward conversation they had, she agreed to meet him at an apartment he was renting in Los Angeles.

His apartment was just as she imagined it would be. A long brown couch took up most of the living room and was facing a large television. A collection of DVDs filled up a small shelve and black and white photographs filled up the walls. A bookshelf stood on the wall furthest from the entrance, several picture frames scattered on top of it. As Tori got closer to it, she noticed that a few of the frames held pictures of them during their time together. She also noticed a copy of _Great Expectations, _her favorite book.

He watched as she checked the place out and it shocked her how at ease he was throughout the situation. He should be unnerved by her being there. She was certainly freaking out inside. After several minutes of silence, he started talking. He told her how happy he was that she agreed to see him and how grateful he was to see her graduate. All the while she kept thinking about how strange it was to be around him again.

She did, however, catch the part where he told her he was moving back to California.

"What about New York?" she asked.

"We're wrapping the show soon and my agent lined up a few auditions here" he replied.

Where the hell was this agent three years ago when she put off her assignments to fly out to New York? How much easier things would have been if they were in the same state when they were together.

He continued filling her in on his plans and what he's been up to during the "non-speaking" years. After a while, she became a little more comfortable around him and told him about her time in college. She made sure to exclude the few guys she had dated and wondered if he had done the same. Surely he had established some relationships in the last three years, especially since being on such a high-rated show. Curious as she was, Tori knew better than to ask him about his romantic life.

They stayed like this for another hour or so. She loosened up enough to laugh at his jokes and chime in as he recounted things they did together.

"Everything happened so fast" he said without bothering to clarify. She looked at him for a moment trying to decipher what he meant.

"Our relationship you mean?" she finally said.

"I kept thinking about how fast things changed between us, from the very beginning. We were friends and then we were hooking up...then things for so serious so fast. Maybe that's why we couldn't figure out how to make it work, we never took the time to appreciate it."

"I appreciated" she whispered. He automatically knew that she took what he said the wrong way and proceeded to reassure her that he did as well.

"I just want us to slow down this time" he said, his tone firm, almost demanding.

She thought about what this meant for them. "What makes you think I want to try again?" she asked him. For some reason he seemed confident, almost too sure about a possible reconciliation. She had to wonder if perhaps he knew something she didn't. He changed the subject and they didn't talk about it again.

Not that they needed to. Pretty soon, they were spending time together again. He visited her at home everyday and call every few hours when he went to New York. About two months later, when he moved back to California, it became easier for her to let him in. This time he wasn't going anywhere. They became closer with each passing week and his attempt to "take it slow" was quickly forgotten once they found themselves lying naked in his bed. Shortly thereafter, she started to accompany him to his events and he would introduce her as his girlfriend. She never bothered to correct him. After hearing it a few times, she accepted the title and said good bye to the single life.

Taking it slow was also forgotten when he asked her to move in a few weeks later and she agreed. This was a welcomed change in their relationship and helped everything seem real and more official. Co-habitation both frightened and exhilarated her. Frankly, she couldn't wait to start this new chapter with him.

It had been a struggle blending their belongings together but somehow they managed it. She was moved in by the end of the month and they honeymoon phase had begun. Dinner dates and thoughtful gestures kept things running smoothly. She watched him sleep and wondered how it was possible to love someone else so unconditionally. For the first time in years, she prayed for an everlasting love with him. That's all she wanted.

Sighing, Tori places the frame back on the night stand and gets off the bed. All those happy memories seem so distant now and she is so far removed from those moments that all she can feel now is bitterness towards him...towards herself for letting things get so messed up. She walks to the other side of the bed to where her suitcase is and crouches down to close it. Even as she is all packed, the idea of leaving him and their life together seems incomprehensible. After all the time devoted and tears shed, walking out seems ludicrous. For her, investing five years had been satisfying until recently. The ups and downs had been worth it because she had him and they loved each other.

Now, there were more pits than peaks in their relationship and they stopped communicating effectively. It became a he-said, she-said as his career skyrocketed and she cheered him from the sidelines. As the girlfriend, or as the tabloids referred to her, the "non-wife," she heard the rumors of him being attached to some Jane Doe co-star. It was hard not to pay attention to the stories, but she knew him. She trusted him. And then one day, she didn't trust him anymore.

Tori looks around the room ones last time and sighs. Her mother _had_ always said love just wasn't enough.

**Author's Note: **If you're wondering what is going on with Tori and Beck that is making her leave, don't worry, the next chapter will finally answer your question. Next chapter should be up by Thursday. Please review, it would mean a lot!


	3. Chapter 3

As she picks up her suitcase, tears begin to stream down Tori's face. She knew leaving her life with Beck was going to be hard but, damn it, she needs to do it. For five years she's devoted her life to the man she loves. She's put her career aside in order to accommodate his busy schedule. Instead of chasing stardom, she's conformed to life as a live-in girlfriend, waiting for a proposal that would assure her they were together for the long haul. Her first and last thoughts were of him, and what does she get in return? Lies and betrayal. How could he claim to love her and yet be capable of hurting her so badly?

While in her trance, Tori didn't hear the footsteps against the creaky wooden floor.

"You're leaving?" he asks. Tori quickly spins around, her eyes wide in surprise. He's not supposed to be here for a while longer. She wipes the tears off her face and looks down at the luggage in her hand.

"Tori, what's going on?" Beck asks, fear emanating from every part of him.

"I'm sorry" is all she can muster to say without even looking up at him. This is what she had wanted to avoid. Seeing him made her departure harder. She knew that he would try to say just the right thing to make her change her mind and stay with him. She would stick around for another five years, perhaps longer, or until the next time he lied to her. She would probably threaten to leave again and the cycle would just continue.

"Why?" he asks. She watches as he rolls his thumbs and his shoulders slump ever so slightly. He almost looks defeated, but Tori knows he'll put up a fight to fix their relationship. She knows it won't be so easy to leave now. If she's learned anything about Beck in all her years of knowing him, it's that he is relentless and will stop at nothing to get what he wants. That was one of her favorite qualities about him, or at least it had been. Now, she wishes he would just let up easier.

"You know why" she responds, her tone quickly becoming cold and distant. She raises her eyes to meet his and notices the pain now present on his face. _Good, _she thinks, _you should be hurting. _

A loud sigh escapes his lips and he takes a few steps towards her. "Tor, I...I don't know what I'm supposed to say."

"There's nothing you can say right now Beck. You should have said something a while ago instead of letting me find out from everyone else" Tori says angrily.

"Tori-" he starts but is quickly interrupted.

"Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to hear from my family and _our _friends that you've been screwing you co-star? That's bad enough but this isn't the first time Beck. Jesus, I must have been stupid right? To think you were actually going to be faithful after last time." Tori is crying once again and drops her suitcase on the floor. She brings her hands to cover her face, not wanting to let him see her cry again. Too many times she's shed tears for him and she is tired of it. She will not be the victim anymore.

"Tori, I screwed up okay? I know I said that before but I swear to God this time...Things just got so messed up at work and we hung out one day. One thing led to the other and-"

"And that's supposed to make it all better right?" Tori screams after removing her hands from her face.

"No, of course not" Beck replies, his own voice raising. He sighs, knowing he can't lose his cool, he's the one who screwed up and making her more angry would not help him in any way. "What do you want me to say Tori? I'm sorry, I am so sorry that I keep hurting you like this. I don't know why I do it, but I am really sorry."

Tori shakes her head from side to side and rolls her eyes. How many times has he apologized and how many apologies will she have to sit through if she stays? "I don't want you to say anything. I'm done Beck. I've given you everything and you don't deserve it, any of it."

"Tori, please. It was a stupid mistake. We were just out and things went too far. If I could take it back I would and I hate that I hurt you. Please, just-"

"Just what Beck?" Tori interrupts again. "Just forgive you again? Then what happens, you wait a few months and do it again? C'mon, you and I both know it'll only be a matter of time before you do it again. I should have known from the beginning this wouldn't work. Every since we got together. This rebound fling we've had lasted much longer than it should have."

"Will you stop? Listen to yourself, a rebound fling? We've been together for five years, you are not my rebound. She means nothing to me, I swear. I love you Tori." Beck allows himself to take the remaining few steps towards her. He is relieved when she doesn't move away from him. Taking her hands in his, he places soft kisses on her knuckles.

"I don't believe you" she whispers as she watches his lips make contact with her skin. The sensation this provides her makes her sad rather than at ease. She wants to just go back a few days ago, before the everyone told her about his affair and she made the decision to leave. It would be so easy to stay and pretend none of it happened. She can go on living in a beautiful home with her loving boyfriend and everything would be perfect. Except that in the back of her mind she would picture his olive skin against someone else as they made love while she was home waiting for him. She would wonder what he did at all hours of the day and be paranoid that he was cheating.

Tori pulled her hand away from him and shook her head. "I don't trust you anymore" she says.

"I know you don't, and you have no reason to. What I did...I can't take my actions back and I can't make your hurt go away, but if you could just..."he trails off.

"I can't stay Beck" Tori jumps in.

"I don't know how to be without you Tor! I tried once and I can't lose you, please" he begs, his tone filled with desperation. Tori looks on at his frazzled stated and a wave of emotions quickly consume her. She wants to reach over and comfort him, reassure him that things will be okay. Most of all though, she wants to yell because he has no right to be upset. He is the reason their relationship is in shambles and she will be damned if she feels guilty for leaving.

"You need to see what it's like to be without me...We're not kids anymore Beck and what you did, I can't forgive you for that. No matter how many promises you make, staying here would only make things worse for us. I just need to go."

Beck stays still for just a few seconds and suddenly drops to his knees. He looks up into Tori's eyes. "I'll do anything Tori, I'm begging you. Please don't do this."

As quickly as the words left his mouth, Tori became infuriated. "You did this, this is all your fault so don't you dare ask me to do you any favors. You don't see how hard it is for me to do this? I'm walking away from everything I have Beck. You're not the one who lost here. I can't pretend that we're alright anymore. It hurts too much, knowing what you've done...get up" she exclaims harshly.

Beck slowly rises to his feet and, accepting defeat, looks on as Tori bends down and picks up her suitcase from the floor. "That's it then?" he asks, his voice almost a whisper.

"I just need time" Tori starts, "I need to focus on here right now." She cringes immediately at how selfish the words sound, almost to the point of being resentful. However, she reminds herself that she is allowed to be selfish because she wasn't the cheater, he was. She let herself put him before herself and that just left her with a broken heart. Now, she's number one.

"So there's still a chance?" he says, hopeful at her words.

"I don't know" Tori answers. She looks towards the bedroom door just a few feet away and then down at her luggage. She's so close to a new life, one without him. She thinks about the years they spent apart in college and how sure she had been about their future together when they reconciled. She had been such a naive girl in love then, not concerned with anything but building the perfect fairytale with him. What she wouldn't give to be able to get that back; to have life be simple again.

"I'm sorry Tori" Beck says once again. He looks at her and frowns when he sees her mouth tighten.

Tori takes a deep breath and makes her way towards the door. Before crossing the threshold, she turns back to look at him. "I know you're sorry. I just need time." She turns back and is quickly gone. Beck lets out a frustrated sigh when he hears the front door close behind her and walks over to the large bed he now has to himself.

Time...How much time would she need? He looks down at his watch and stares at the hands as the seconds ticked on by. Time...

**Author's Note: Before I get a bunch of comments about what an awful Bori shipper I am, just let me say that there will be an epilogue chapter up sometime next week that will not be so horrible. Please bare with with and I will update soon!**


	4. Chapter 4

Tori sits quietly on her side of the booth, picking at a cherry tomato on her plate. She's half listening to Rachel who is going on about the endless ideas she has for her wedding to Andre. Tori has had to sit through countless discussions about this wedding since Andre proposed three months ago. While she is happy for her two friends, she can't help but be a little jealous. It's been close to eight months since she left her life with Beck behind and not a day passes by that she questions whether or not she made the right decision. Sure she has learned a great deal about herself during that time, but had she stayed, would she be the one planning a wedding?

"Tori, you're not listening. I really need your help and you keep zoning out" Rachel said.

Tori blinks a few times and smiles apologetically. Rachel shakes her head gently, clearly used to her friend's lack of focus.

"I made an appointment to see a few venues around town and if you're not busy, maybe you can come with me?" Rachel asked.

"Sure, I don't have too much going on right now" Tori replied and popped the cherry tomato in her mouth. When Rachel asked her to be her maid of honor a few weeks prior, Tori almost declined. She couldn't imagine being so involved in someone's wedding, specially so soon after her own breakup. The idea of celebrating another couple's happiness made her bitter and she wanted no part of it. Of course, she quickly changed her mind. This was Andre, her best friend. There would be no way she would allow her failed relationship overshadow the most important day of his life. It took some time to embrace her role in this wedding, but now she was just happy to have something taking up her time. As long as she is running around with Rachel picking out invitations or flipping through bridal magazines, she had no time to think about Beck.

"Great, my mom is flying in next week so we can all sit down and go through a few things Andre wants for the wedding. To be honest, I'm not sure I want to incorporate all of them so maybe we can filter through them and choose the best ones and then combine it with my ideas. Compromise, you know? Gosh I sound like a wife already" Rachel said and finally takes a deep breath. She giggles and continues flipping through more magazines. Tori stares wide-eyed. She's heard of the word bridezilla before, and while Rachel isn't exactly a horrible bride, she is definitely an intimidating one. She has way too many plans and Tori isn't sure she can keep up with her friend's enthusiasm.

"Hey, Andre just sent me a text saying he's going to stop by for a bit. He's trying to convince me to hear out this band for the reception but I think we should just hire a DJ. What do you think?" Rachel said as she scribbles down a few more notes on a notepad.

"I think a band might be nice. They'll have original music which is always good and you can always hire a DJ to do the second half of the party" Tori suggested. She watches as Rachel furrows her brows, contemplating whether they would be able to afford both.

After thirty minutes, Tori is still sitting listening to Rachel go through wedding protocol. Her salad, the only distraction she had, is now finished and she ponders whether she should order a dessert. Within minutes, she spots Andre strolling into the restaurant. For a second she is relieved that he will join them, but that feeling quickly fades as she sees Beck walking behind him. Her eyes open wide and she shoots a look at Rachel who looks as surprised as her. _Andre _Tori thinks, remembering the last time her best friend invited Beck without her knowledge.

Both men reach the table and Tori tries to control her fast beating heart. Andre leans down and kisses Rachel. He sits next to her, leaving an empty seat next to Tori. She looks straight ahead as Beck claims that seat. She catches a whiff of his cologne and instantly becomes nostalgic.

"Hi" he simply says to her. She turns and gives him a small smile and nod. This is the second time she has seen him since their break up, the first being at Andre's engagement party, and it is still hard to be around him and act normal.

"How are you?" he asks. His whole body is turned to face her and it makes her uncomfortable. She turns to Andre and Rachel and sees that both are going through a check list on the notepad. She catches Andre glimpse in her direction and she takes the opportunity to shoot him a death glare. As he looks back down at the paper, she notices a smirk growing on his face.

"I'm fine, how are you?" she asks politely.

"I'm doing alright" he replies with a smile.

"I'm glad" Tori says and turns back to her two friends.

Several minutes pass with silence between them. Both are listening intently as Andre and Rachel debate about the entertainment at the reception.

"I'm telling you, these guys are amazing. They're better than any DJ we could find. You should just listen to their music and if you still don't like them, we can get the DJ" Andre urges his fiance.

"I just don't think we're the kind of couple who gets a band. I always pictures us as the DJ kind of people."

"What does that even mean?" asks Andre who then turns to his friends for back up.

Tori quickly looks down at the table and begins playing with her thumbs while Beck just shakes his head from side to side. Tori can't help but smile at their reaction. They both know better than get involved in a couple's quarrel, especially one between Rachel and Andre. Throughout their years together, Andre and Rachel have gotten into many arguments but end up reconciling within hours. The one time Beck tried to give Andre advice, it ended up backfiring on him and the two friends went weeks without speaking.

The couple went back and forth for what seemed like hours and while it was entertaining at first, Tori no longer wants to sit through it. As if he can hear her thoughts, Beck leans over to her and suggests they step away for a bit. Tori hesitates at first, but nods her head. They excuse themselves from the table and went to sit by the bar.

"Thank you, I can't sit through another one of their arguments" Tori says chuckling.

"No problem. I figured they'll be going at it for a while so it was a good opportunity to get you to talk to me."

Tori quickly stops laughing and turns to look at him. Of course he has an ulterior motive for getting her away.

"I'm sorry," he starts off. His voice is low and raspy. She looks down at his hands, folded in front of him across the bar. He is digging his nails into his knuckles and she knows he's nervous, he only did that when he was afraid of something. She could make it easy for him, mend their friendship and perhaps even figure out a way to get back together.

"Yeah you've said that already" she replies coldly. Or she could make him work for it.

"I know that Tori, and I'll continue saying it until you forgive me. I miss you and I hate being without you. I miss being able to tell you about my day and hearing about yours. Just tell me what I need to do to fix us, please" he says as he moves his stool closer to hers and leans towards her.

Still looking away, Tori hears his words and they tug at her heart. He's obviously hurt and is at least making an effort to fix things, but it isn't so easy for her to forgive him for everything he's done. The lying, the infidelity...it is just too much for her to just hop back on the Beck-wagon.

Afraid that her silence signals rejection, Beck quickly continues talking. "Tor, I am willing to do anything you ask me to. You just say what it is you want and I will do it. I just need you to give me another chance because I love you."

Tori flinches as those three little words escape his lips. They sound so sincere and so warm coming from him. They're words she has heard thousands of times but never got tired of them. _Who else has he said them to? _The thought flashes quickly through her mind and it shocks her. What if, during his indiscretions, he's shared the sentiment with someone else? Perhaps she isn't the first girl to fall for his words. _Focus Tori, focus_ she thinks.

Tori sighs. "What I have to say, you probably don't want to hear" she exclaims.

Beck purses his lips and slightly nods his head. "I can listen" he says.

"I don't trust you," she begins and turns to face him. "I've tried to find ways to forgive you these past few months but the more I think about what you did, the angrier I get. I don't know what I did to deserve what you did-"

"Tori, this isn't your f-" he interrupts but is cut off by her.

"You said you would listen" she says firmly. He nods his head once again and waits for her to continue. "I have all these questions going around in my head and I want answers, but I know that it wouldn't change anything. Nothing you can tell me takes away what you did and I think what hurts the most is that you led me to believe that we had this amazing life together. I went on and on like an idiot about how wonderful our life was and the whole time you were going behind my back. Am I supposed to forget that just because you're sorry?"

"No, of course not Tor. I know I can't take it back, no matter how much I want to and you have every right to hate me forever if you want...I hope that's not the case. I guess I'm just hoping there's some way I can have you in my life, any way."

"Any way?" Tori asks, her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah" he replies sadly.

"So if I just want us to be friends?" she questions.

Beck lets out a loud sigh. He turns his head to look back at Andre and Rachel over at the table and his lips curl upwards once he sees them laughing together. Tori turns to see what he is looking at and smiles at her two friends. "They're good together huh?" she says, rhetorically.

"They used to say the same thing about us" Beck says as he turns back to look at her.

"Beck, don't" Tori quickly states. She can't let him make her nostalgic about how great their relationship was or how many amazing things they did in their five years together. It's hard enough sitting next to him, now she has to deal with him bringing up the past?

"I'm sorry, I just don't know what else to say to make you see how sorry I am" Beck says, his frustration starting to get the best of him.

Tori stares at him for a moment, taking in his appearance for the first time in months. His hair is shorter than she remembers and his white shirt is carefully pressed. His dark jeans hang perfect from his hips and his black boots fold just right over them. In their years together, she got so used to seeing him that she began to take his appearance for granted. She can see more clearly now why so many girls wanted him.

"You said you would take me any way right? The most I can do right now is be your friend" she exclaims.

Beck folds his hands again and leans forward towards the bar. He bites the side of his cheek and swings his feet back and forth.

"Beck?" Tori says, unsure of what his posture signifies.

"If that's what you want Tori, I have no choice but to take it" he states without changing positions.

"It's all I'm willing to give right now. I think it would be best for us to just start over and get to know each other again. I've learned so much about myself these past eight months and I'm sure you have also. I think starting off as friends will do us some good." It took a moment for Tori to process her words, but once she does she realizes that it makes sense. In order to trust Beck, she needs them to get back to the basics and re-establish a friendship.

"I have to accept your decision, but you know it's going to be hard for me to be around you and not be with you right?" Beck asks and it makes Tori smile. His honesty is endearing and she secretly enjoys that he's making such an effort to win her back. It shows that he does love her and that, despite his mistakes, she's the one he wants.

"I know, and I would be lying if I said it will be easy for me, but I really do think it's for the best right now. You never know what will happen later on" she says with a smirk.

Beck turns to look at her, his eyes open wide and his mouth is slightly agape. Tori laughs at his startled expression. He's probably surprised that she actually gave him some hope in a future relationship between them, which truthfully was her intention. By giving him some hope, she can also reassure herself that things can still work out with him. She knows it's stupid to want to take him back after everything he's done, but after being with him for so long, she can't see herself without him. Now, it's just a matter of moving forward at a slow pace and learning to trust him again.

"We should head back, I'm ready to get out of here" Tori says.

"Sure" replies Beck. He dramatically hops down from his stool which makes her laugh. He smiles and puts his hand out to help her down from hers.

"Such a gentleman" she plays along.

"Only for you Lady Vega" Beck replies and places a kiss on the back of her hand. Tori feels her face begin to flush and gently pulls her hand away. As she starts making her way back to the table, she sees Andre looking at them. She gives him a small, reassuring smile. What she doesn't see is Beck behind her, giving Andre a thumbs up.

**The End. **


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